Escape Pod 299 – Plus or Minus

By James Patrick Kelly
Read by: Christiana Ellis
Originally appearing in Asimov’s
Discuss on our forums.
All stories by James Patrick Kelly
All stories read by Christiana Ellis
Nominated for the Hugo Award for Novelette, 2011

Rated appropriate for older teens and up for sexual situations and violence.

Plus Or Minus

By James Patrick Kelly

Everything changed once Beep found out that Mariska’s mother was the famous Natalya Volochkova.   Mariska’s life aboard the Shining Legend went immediately from bad to awful.  Even before he singled her out, she had decided that there was no way she’d be spending the rest of her teen years crewing on an asteroid bucket.  Once Beep started persecuting her, she began counting down the remaining days of the run as if she were a prisoner.  She tried explaining that she had no use for Natalya Volochkova, who had never been much of a mother to her, but Beep wouldn’t hear it.  He didn’t care that Mariska had only signed on to the Shining Legend to get back at her mother for ruining her life.

Somehow that hadn’t worked out quite the way she had planned.

For example, there was crud duty.  With a twisting push Mariska sailed into the command module, caught herself on a handrail, and launched toward the starboard wall.  The racks of  instrument screens chirped and beeped and buzzed; command was one of the loudest mods on the ship.  She stuck her landing in front of navigation rack and her slippers caught on the deck burrs, anchoring her in the ship’s  .0006 gravity.   Sure enough, she could see new smears of mold growing from the crack where the nav screen fit into the wall.  This was Beep’s fault, although he would never admit it.  He kept the humidity jacked up in Command, said that dry air gave him nosebleeds.  Richard FiveFord claimed they came from all the drugs Beep sniffed but Mariska didn’t want to believe that.  Also Beep liked to sip his coffee from a cup instead sucking it out of a bag, even though he slopped all the time.  Fungi loved the sugary spatters.  She sniffed one particularly vile looking smear of mold.  It smelled faintly like the worms she used to grow back home on the Moon.  She wiped her nose with the sleeve of her jersey and reached to the holster on her belt for her sponge. As she scrubbed, the bitter vinegar tang of disinfectant gel filled the mod.  Not for the first time, she told herself that this job stunk.

She felt the tingle of Richard FiveFord offering a mindfeed and opened her head.  =What?=

His feed made a pleasant fizz behind her eyes, distracting her. =You done any time soon?=  Distraction was Richard’s specialty

=No.=

=Didit is making a dream for us.=

 

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W100M – 76 – Forrest Gump – 75 – In the Heat of the Night

Christiana and Mike discuss the next two movies on the AFI’s Top 100 Movies with…

76 - Forrest Gump

75 – In the Heat of the Night

 

Posted in Non-Fiction, podcasts, Watching 100 Movies | 1 Comment

Talking About Stuff #158

Christiana reviews inFamous 2 for the PS3,

and then Mike talks about his recent trip to Barcelona and Venice, including discussion of the under-construction La Familia cathedral.

Posted in Non-Fiction, podcasts, Talking About Stuff | Leave a comment

W100M – 78 – Modern Times — 77 – All the President’s Men

Christiana and Mike discuss the next two movies on the AFI’s Top 100 Movies with…

78 – Modern Times

77 – All the President’s Men

Posted in Non-Fiction, podcasts, Watching 100 Movies | Leave a comment

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-06-19

  • RT @AnitaKingWrites: Aaand finished Space Casey by @christianaellis. Very funny, very enjoyable. — Yay! Thank you for listening! #
  • .@Mainframe Well, wrapped up with a bow and arrow seems more likely. ;) #
  • Must not give in To grumpy mood! I will summon my cheer through sheer force of will! GRRRGGGAAARGH!!! *smiles* Ah, that's better. #
  • .@nlowell I'll admit it, the My Little Pony avatar helps. #
  • .@odin1eye @nlowell O_o #
  • .@Nobilis That's good to know. I know I enjoyed the extra scenes. I was a little surprised to hear that anyone didn't! #
  • .@AnitaKingWrites As it turns out, friendship really IS magic! #
  • .@edgizmo Could happen! The denizens of Equestria, after all, are not immune to grumpy moods. It is just that they are comparatively mild. #
  • .@edgizmo Their sunny dispositions help to soften the lows & enhance the highs. Add a pinch of 'Biology is Destiny' and there you are! #
  • .@Nobilis I agree that that is the dynamic, but one could ask why he's so sure they would never talk. Esp w/Roz since she's new. #
  • .@edgizmo Only if they drink hot sauce. I'm at work or I'd find you the picture. :) #
  • .@Nobilis Agreed, and also, he doesn't really give them any names. He doesn't join, because explaining how smart he is, is how he gets off. #
  • .@edgizmo Honestly, I never really liked the Smurfs much either. But my love of the new My Little Pony show is the real deal. #
  • .@edgizmo Don't judge by the 80's cartoon, The new one is the good one. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Little_Pony_Friendship_is_Magic #
  • .@HillaryDePiano @edgizmo True. The 80's movie was one of the first I saw in the theater. But the new one transcends its marketing origins. #
  • .@madpoet You are now, like, 20% cooler. (In-joke, keep watching.) #
  • .@madpoet @WickedGood All of the current My Little Pony (I think) is on YouTube. They don't take it down because they make $ from toys. #
  • .@vforvoice My avatar was made for me by @planetx for a panel at Balticon. Let me see if I can find the link. #
  • .@vforvoice MLP generator: http://bit.ly/jutRMd Here's one of @planetx (http://flic.kr/p/9PicNe) & @Cmaaarrr (http://flic.kr/p/9Pm3wY) #
  • .@Mainframe First ep is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeJ6-gN0eB4&feature=youtube_gdata_playerRest should be easy to find from there. #
  • @Mainframe You can also just google My little pony: friendship as magic to find many resources such as episode guides, etc. #
  • .@dsobkowiak Come on! Everypony's doing it! #
  • .@jrblackwell All the best stuff is over the top. Like the cookie jar on top of the fridge, or pole-vaulting. #
  • RT @sonicsociety: The new Headquarters of the Sonic Society! http://fb.me/AYBAkzlN – Looks great! #
  • .@spiritualtramp IS everything okay? Because I know a lot of people who would be very relieved. ;) #
  • .@spiritualtramp Ah, well. He'd know, I guess. #
  • I go to bed early and wake up feeling MORE tired than usual. The mysteries of the human body are rich, beautiful and sometimes annoying. #
  • I feel strangely… competent this morning. Be afraid. #
  • .@madpoet I know, right? #
  • Ate bananas last week & had no problems with my back. This week, none & some. Coincidence? Quite possibly. Still eating a banana for lunch. #
  • .@HillaryDePiano Now that you mention it, it HAS been a while since the last tiger attack. #
  • .@jramboz I would like to Pre-order a ticket to Prophylactic Banana's first concert, please. #
  • .@daniinnc Anecdotal evidence FTW! #
  • .@Roue0824 You know, I actually typed "strangle-ly" before going back to correct it… Creepy! #
  • @Cthukie Have your interview today yet? Glad yesterday's went well. #
  • This was just delivered to my house: http://www.thinkgeek.com/electronics/retro-gaming/e762/ … I should not be allowed near money. #
  • @Cthukie Be strong! Be strong! We're all here for you! You can do it! (This applies to both the job search and the grocery shopping) #
  • @Mainframe A video's not a bad idea, though obviously I can't shoot it with the iPad camera! #
  • @edgizmo I Pre-ordered a couple of weeks ago when I saw it on Kotaku. #
  • @WintyrBourne Not yet. Got delivery confirmation, but I'm still at work. :p #
  • @edgizmo Alas, no Pac-man on it (yet), though it does have asteroids. I think first though will be Centipede! :) #
  • @hatchingphoenix Yes! Though, of stuff from the 3DS store, I've actually been playing more of Link's Awakening and Cave Story. #
  • @WintyrBourne I am an engineering consultant for pharmaceutical companies. #
  • @hatchingphoenix Not in 3D, but it is the Game Boy Color version and a great game regardless. #
  • @edgizmo Well, the Centipede I learned on actually had a joystick, but true, it was a bit of a bastard child. #
  • @WintyrBourne Nothing wrong with that. :) Stuff needs to get places, right? #
  • @edgizmo Did trackballs Pre-date joysticks? I assumed they were contemporaries, or even that the joysticks came first? #
  • @choochus I use Tweetdeck for iPad, though it does crash a lot. Still I like the interface. Also good: TWC Max+ (weather), Comixology, NASA #
  • @choochus And of course, Kindle, Netflix, IMDB, Discovery. Also, Office2 HD is pricey but powerful. #
  • @WintyrBourne Working on it! I've got scenes done and bits planned and everything! #
  • @edgizmo @spiritualtramp Two men enter… (the arcade)… No quarters leave! #
  • @sinspired @DDog I liked it too. Groovy, man. #XMenFirstClass #
  • @pcharing Good music, loud. Rock. #
  • I haven't thought about postage stamps in over 2 years. As only things that I am aware of exist, I am sorry if that made them hard to find. #
  • @annacreech I've got a lot of other stuff on my mind already, (the universe, Earth, Pez, etc.) but I'll add your request to the list. :) #
  • @chrisbachmann Cork-boards! I hadn't thought of them in a while either! 0o0 #
  • @TeeMonster @nlowell Yeah, I just recently listened through #ownersshare myself. Painful, but well-handled. #
  • Only just this morning figured this out. Lucy-Sky-Diamonds -> LSD. #slowontheuptake #
  • @odin1eye My condolences. It is good that he will be remembered. #
  • @TeeMonster Oh no! I almost missed it myself, wish I could have reminded you. :/ #
  • .@Froosh Wow, Snopes agrees, it was a coincidence! http://www.snopes.com/music/hidden/lucysky.asp But still, a hell of a coincidence! #
  • This just in! Turns out that Puff the Magic Dragon is actually about a magic dragon!!! #
  • .@trreed My avatar was made for me by @planetx using this My Little Pony generator: http://bit.ly/jutRMd #
  • @suzannehartwick You're welcome! It is my life's mission to bestow ear-worms on the whole universe… Kinda like Kahn. #
  • Overheard at lunch: "I'm going to buy a bar of chocolate and smuggle it back to my desk in my pants. … Pocket, I mean pants pocket." #
  • @Cthukie Excelsior! #
  • Time for a MEETING! #
  • Hey, we just had this great idea for a last-minute change that requires several extra hours of work FOR YOU. … By tomorrow, please. #
  • "There's a bucket where you weren't expecting there to be a bucket." #HorrorMoviesForDogs #
  • Slowly, but surely, I am puzzling out the events of Space Casey season 2. The logistics of comedy time-travel are surprisingly squirrelly. #
  • @VividMuse If you're still upset, probably best not to send it. I've learned that lesson the hard way. #
  • Oh hey, you know all that extra work we asked you to do at the last minute? The people who were supposed to help you weren't told about it. #
  • Ah, but for almost every frustration at work, there are the good people who step up and pitch in. :) #
  • So all these high-profile hackers cropping up lately… They're basically supervillains, right? #
  • Do a lot of damage? Act with dramatic flair? Secret Identities? Bizarre rationalizations for their actions? Check. #HackersAreSupervillains #
  • .@comedy4cast Whenever I did it, it was always a sincere attempt to express my affection and loyalty. #
  • .@jchutchins Red-rum… If that's what you've got, but I prefer silver rum mixed with Diet Coke. #
  • Work done! Going home to see my puppy! #
  • Hanging out at the NC Maker Faire, selling books at the Pendragon Variety table. #
  • @trreed But everypony's doing it! #
  • Mike and I are recording Watching 100 Movies for "Modern Times" and "All the President's Men" Have comments? Let me know, we'll read them! #

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-06-12

  • I think x-men first class is the best of all the x-men movies so far. Really enjoyed it. #
  • @pcharing I didn't think X3 was that bad, certainly not as bad as it sometimes gets slammed for, but that one was definitely Coach Class. #
  • @pcharing Agreed 100%. Very glad it wasn't spoiled for me. #
  • @mightymur I passed on your message yesterday and she said: "Yeah, yeah, sometime this week." I told her: "It takes less than 30 seconds." #
  • Wonderful praising email from person I know, love and respect > One-sentence insulting review from total stranger. #
  • @Mainframe True, Twitter is almost always positive, but nothing pleases everybody, as shown by the occasional bad reviews on iTunes, etc. #
  • It's important (but hard) to have a thick skin when putting your stuff out there, but the bad stuff makes me love my fans all the more! :) #
  • Of all minor injuries that are annoying out of proportion to their severity, cuts on the knuckle of your index finger rank pretty high. #
  • @Shadow_L Agreed! Also very annoying. #
  • I'm working! Really! Working on important job stuff! I am NOT looking up E3 and WWDC news! At all! In fact, what are those things? WOOORRK! #
  • @planetx Just make sure you keep it away from submarines! #
  • Woo! Amazon just shipped my inFamous 2 Hero Edition! Loved the first game, psyched for the second! #
  • Waiting for the Sony E3 Press Conference to start, so I can watch for a while before it's time to record @BTWPodcast #
  • Caffeine shortage ahead. Expect delays. #
  • BoingBoing's Gweek podcast is fun, actually reminds me of Geek Out with @Mainframe but I think I actually like GOWM better. #
  • @PhilippaJane Cupcakes are the Omega! #
  • When do I get my best, most exciting ideas? ALWAYS when I am trying hardest to finish some OTHER project! Grr! My own brain is against me! #
  • @Gutshot It's interesting how Corgi mixes frequently keep the corgi proportions but take coloring, head shape, etc. from the other breed. #
  • @comedy4cast Some say spammers should end in fire, others carbonite. What I know of desire, I favor fire. But Carbonite would be all right. #
  • @Gutshot I prefer Corgi Classic myself, but there is no questioning the awesomeness of the Si-Corgs. #
  • @comedy4cast Exactly. #
  • Just realized I haven't had a good sloppy-Joe in AGES… Wait, why does that sound dirty? #
  • @mwsmedia I'd been following you since a long time ago. Stupid random Twitter unfollows. :p #
  • Going to play inFamous 2 a little before heading out to board game night. Life is tough. #
  • Up too late last night, think I may be coming down with something. *makes Frankenstein's Monster noises* #
  • "I'm not just the president of the LEGO Hair Club for Sith, I'm also a member!" http://yfrog.com/h7sjnjyqj #
  • @hatchingphoenix "Do you find your lack of hair… Disturbing?" #HairClubForSith #
  • I just had a bizarre craving for chicken nuggets; brief, but very intense. Like the ghost of a chicken nugget just floated through my brain. #
  • .@cdcasey Clearly the most logical explanation. And even after Princess Laya told them the location of the Rebel Coop! #
  • .@choochus Nice. #
  • Drinking rum and catching up on the Daily Show, and very soon, more inFamous 2! Love that game! It is awesome. #
  • Sitting down to see Super 8 at the IMAX. #
  • My friend Lee finally signed up for Twitter as @cthukie She is awesome, you should all follow her! #
  • RT @mightymur: Our Book Launch Party for Mur Lafferty's Afterlife Series starts in less than an hour! http://fb.me/SuzlGp1H – on my way! #
  • @Mainframe I have not seen that, but it does sound interesting. #

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-06-05

  • Highlight of #Balticon so far, the TRUTH panel, wherein I now have a My Little Pony of myself. #
  • RT @VividMuse: Girls' Rules at 6 in Chesapeake w/ @mistressjett @mainpa @scifilaura @christianaellis and a special sneak peek at a new game! #
  • The Time Traveller's Ball is rocking the Garden Room at #Balticon ! Music! Food! Temporal Physics! Be there or be cubed! #
  • Costume contest at the Time Traveller's Ball starts at Midnight here at #Balticon Fabulous time-travel themed prizes! #
  • Packing up the room here at #Balticon but then I'm still around a while. I have a reading at 2pm, my Dr. Mercury story! #
  • @Mainframe Why, yes, the very same! #
  • @BetaClone076 @shadygirl3 Yay! #
  • To those unable to attend my #Balticon reading, my Dr. Mercury story is already online here: http://christianaellis.com/?p=1253 #
  • Well, now I an free of obligations until 2. Time for lunch. #
  • Only quitters leave early! Stick around for my live reading at 2pm! #
  • @HeatherWelliver @jchutchins I am at lunch, will be back soon, have my reading at 2. #
  • All the peeps still at #Balticon should head to the Pimlico at 2pm for my live reading of a Dr. Mercury story! #
  • More one note tweets from me! My #Balticon reading is in the Pimlico room at 2! #
  • Reading at #Balticon was a big success! Room almost full at 2pm on Monday! Also, people laughed at me, which is good, I think. #
  • Farewell #Balticon ! Okay, I love you, bye-bye! #
  • After a long drive, I have arrived home safely after a wonderful #Balticon I hope all my loved ones did or will too. #
  • @susanz Yikes! Glad @cinemafreak is okay. You guys were really missed at Balticon but good wishes to both of you now. *hugs* #
  • @vandermore @cmaaarrr @planetx Now that just looks like a plain old good idea. I'm always worried that my giant beetle will fall off. #
  • Really glad I decided to take today off of work as well. #Balticon was glorious, but exhausting. :) #
  • @Mainframe Everything went great. Though I'll confess I get stressed out during party planning! :) #
  • Sometimes I find myself feeling really judgmental about judgmental people. Then I am sucked into a vortex of hypocrisy. #
  • At game night with @mightymur We have discussed the Seinfeldification of our group and apparently I am Kramer. #
  • @ursulaV and @mightymur have only two options: Be Mormon, male and dead, or get some ray guns and do it the old-fashioned way. #
  • @hildebrandj @mightymur Oh, with, I'd think. #
  • Philosophical question: Do you spend more time praising the things you like or criticizing the things you don't? #
  • Dear Weather; How are you? I am fine. Please stop being so hot. I will be your best friend. Love, Christiana. #
  • @mightymur That's not true! I am with the weather every day! Through thick and thin. Friends should be able to ask each other for things. #
  • #Balticon recovery still only in preliminary stages. Fine motor skills are not very fine this morning. #
  • RT @planetx: Pony versions @christianaellis (http://flic.kr/p/9Pm3vQ) @Cmaaarrr (http://flic.kr/p/9Pm3wY) & me (http://flic.kr/p/9PicNe) #
  • As promised, I have updated my Twitter avatar to the My Little Pony version of myself, as seen in the TRUTH panel at #Balticon BEHOLD! #
  • @nuchtchas Nah, Luna's pretty cool about that sort of thing. As long as I keep up with the belly scritches. #
  • I am currently working with two gentlemen from England who are visiting the US site and, no lie, they are BOTH named Nigel. #
  • @elizasea It was made for me by @planetx for Balticon. Here's one of him (http://flic.kr/p/9PicNe) & @Cmaaarrr (http://flic.kr/p/9Pm3wY) #
  • @elizasea I believe he used this generator: http://bit.ly/jutRMd :) #
  • Next movie on the AFI list: Charlie Chaplin's "Modern Times"! Watching it now, one of my favorites! #
  • Breakfast at Waffle House with my friend Lee, then going to see X-men. After that, maybe Kung-Fu Panda 2. #

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W100M – 80-The Apartment — 79-The Wild Bunch

Christiana and Mike discuss the next two movies on the AFI’s Top 100 Movies with…

Number 80: The Apartment
Number 79: The Wild Bunch

 

Posted in Non-Fiction, podcasts, Watching 100 Movies | Leave a comment